Me? A Goodie-doer? Really?

When it comes to picking a career path, I've generally been approached by two schools of thought. The first is something that I was exposed to early and often. It's a school of thought deeply embedded in the thinking of traditional Chinese mentality, one that tends to lean more toward the conservative spectrum of thought. It's to play things safely. It's to do what is practical. And its reasoning is that it allows for equilibrium of emotion and control. Make enough money to support the various aspects of your livelihood. Do what is necessary to maintain your sanctity and lifestyle. For much of my life, I've adopted this curriculum. I do have a lifestyle that I'm accustomed to. And I wish to maintain that. If it means doing something that will sustain it, even if my heart doesn't sing with joy about it, it will suffice just as long as I'm not miserable doing it. And for a long time, this made complete sense to me. I generally accepted the fact that not everyone finds a career path that can be associated with bliss. But it's finding a happy medium that will benefit one's overall time on this earth in the long run. That happy medium will still allow for opportunities to materialize along the way.

And then this dude gallivants into the cafe. Let's just call him Recession.

"Hello Sir. Can I get you some coffee or a pastry?"
"No, but you can go f*@k yourself."
"Why, thank you. Will you be staying a while?"
"Yup. Anguish, baby. Anguish."
"Excellent. Thanks for the misery."

Now you'd think when this guy comes around and does to people what he does, people would be more inclined to embrace the first school of thought. In reality, most people do. You see, this fear monger took my job away from me. For the first few months, I scrambled to find 'a job.' Anything, really, would have been satisfactory. But then I kept putting myself out there in positions that I was easily qualified for and I kept finding my efforts fruitless. Five months later, still unemployed, my blinders are lost in the wind. And not to say that I'm not confused. I am perfectly discombobulated. And I'm scared shitless. Believe that. But my befuddlement is hatched by the fact that I'm thinking with not just my head now, but with my heart. Isn't it preposterous that people can't find jobs in their own industry...the industries that they've spent the better part of their professional careers fine-tuning? Brilliant, bright, capable, extraordinary people can't find a job doing what is second nature to them. Isn't there something entirely wrong with this picture? And all this heartache and abasement for what? For something that I'm not even passionate about doing? I worked for a company that did marketing and advertising online where the end game was lead generation...getting someone to fill out a form so that I could send that person's info to my client. What my client did with that lead wasn't my concern. It was just my concern that the client paid me for that lead. And while it was fine and I didn't mind the experience or actual work, it hardly warmed my heart and to be honest, it didn't tickle my brain all the much either.

Interesting. Maybe... just maybe... there would be a chance... that....... I would be happier doing something else? What an astonishing notion (slapping my thigh and half hoarsely chuckling)! And don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to denigrate people that stick to school of thought #1. I mean, people do need to make sure that their livelihoods are secure. People have children, they have large mortgages, fat bills to pay, immovable investments that they're tied to. I get it. They need something, anything. And they're right to feel that way. I'm just not one of those people. So here I am, finding myself giving this asshole (Recession) the bird. And at the same time, maybe I have him to thank for my new-found enlightenment.

So... good, honest work. Right. Something that I can take pride in doing. Something that I can smile about at the end of the day. And something that gives me frequent opportunity to say, 'Today was a good one.' Where can I indelibly leave my mark? Make someone happier than they were before? Leave, making a positive difference?

I don't know. But I'm going to look for it.