Chuck? Creepy? No.....

Chuck got to the bus stop with three minutes to spare today, according to his iphone at least. It had been a long day and he was anxious to get home and crack the top off a beer while allowing his body to be paralyzed on the couch. Upon reaching the stop, he discovered an attractive tall blond girl waiting there with the same intent as he. But there was an appearance about this girl that was reminiscent of someone he thought he had met in the last month. Was it her? He couldn't really get a direct gaze at her. Not without getting caught at least. So he did what any right-minded person would do. Once boarding the bus, he situated himself at the opposite end of the bus and rotated his head so that his line of sight would catch her position at each pendulum. But she noticed. And she turned around to avoid Chuck's apparent ghastly behavior. It was at that point that Chuck noticed a wedding ring on her left hand. And he smiled. He did not know this girl and she had caught him gawking. It was then that Chuck noticed a different girl sitting down, reading a book.

(Yes, I am Chuck, in case you were wondering.)

Chase likes white girls and long visits to the can.

I never really pondered over the display of a couple composed of an Asian girl and a Caucasian guy when I happened upon one. Not until I talked to my friend, Chase. You see...Chase hates Asian girls. He becomes queasy with just the mere glance of one. He also frequents the toilet to excavate numero dos more than any other individual that I personally know. But that is a story that I will save for another rainy day. This brief rhetoric will be solely devoted to highlighting Chase's observations about Asian girls and Caucasian dudes. Chase can't stand the sight of it. Yet Chase, as described above, isn't quite into Asian girls. So why should it really matter? Good question. It's because he hates white guys. Recently, Chase flew down to San Diego for a business trip. He reported that he procured an unusual amount of attention from Caucasian girls. And he was pleased. He would like to move to San Diego now.

Fine Print: Chase doesn't hate Asian girls and Caucasian guys. But he does revel in rolling on the ground collecting change, like a hobo. And he really is an industrial poop factory.